Thelonius, the right-hand man of Lord Farquaad, responsible for torturing Farquaad's political enemies and one of the most mysterious characters of "Shrek". Ever wondered who is he? Well, we think know the answer. 

 

He didn't give up his job of an executor.  His sneaky pseudonym could have deceived many journalists, but for us is his identity clear. But for whom is Thelonius a.k.a Jihadi John working? According to en.wikipedia.org he beheads on behalf of a terrorist organization what proclaimed its own caliphate, namely the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria(ISIS). The leader of ISIS is caliph Abu Baqr al-Baghdadi. Can't you feel that something is fishy? How come did Thelonius become an islamic radical? His only creed is Lord Farquaad. Everything will become clear for us, if we realize that on wikipedia the name of the leader of ISIS was misspellt, his name is not Abu Baqr al-Baghdadi, but Abu Baqr al-Farquaadi. BAM! Now you know the truth: Lord Farquaad undercover is the one behind the whole ISIS thing. But that's not all, look at this map.

The red area is controlled by ISIS, the area covered by green stripes is a SWAMP. ISIS controlled by Farquaad wants to exterminate all ogres inhabiting the Iraqi swamp. Brogres, now you know the truth, spread it. And for the victims of al-Farquaadi- remember, Shrek is with you, Shrek is love, Shrek is life./pyton

Jack-o-lanterns. No doubt that without them there would be no Halloween. Unluckily it is an incredibly laborious task is to carve a pumpkin, for they so big and hard are. And... they aren't green and have no layers. Isn't it a disadvantage of jack-o-lanterns that they ar so un-shrektastic? Fortunately, there is a solution to this, namely...

Shrek-o-lanterns!!!

My beautiful shrek-o-lantern, hope yours are as good or better ;)

Pros of shrek-o-lanterns

1. Are made out of onions
2. Have layers
3. Easier to produce
4. More portable
5. Simply shrektastic

How to make a shrek-o-lantern(with pictures)

Drilling the onion- first stage of making shrek-o-lanterns

For this you will need an onion, a big one preferably and a candle. First you will need to cut off the top of the onion and get rid of all its inner layers. After this stage your to-be-shrek-o-lantern should look like pic 1.Then you carve the onion. Here let your creativity guide you.  Lastly you have to insert a candle and light it. Protip: melt some wax from the candle inside the onion, so that the candle holds better to the bottom of your lantern. Congratulations, you have succesfully made your shrek-o-lantern. 

Happy halloween, brogres, Shrek is love, Shrek is life./pyton

DOOT DOOT! You were visited by the legendary trumpet shrek. The first five brogres who post this to their facebook will get the ogrelord's blessing and free onions.

/Pyton

Hellogre there, I'm Pyton, and this is going to be a blog dedicated fully to Shrek. Best content here, 100% Shrek. Remember to eat a lot of onions and pray to Shrek twice a day so the ogrelord will protect you from Farquaads and perhaps visit you once. ;)

Shrek is love, Shrek is life.
/Pyton